Complete list of sex & self

A - Z guide to sizzling sex

By Karen Town

A – Aphrodisiacs
They say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach so why not kill two birds with one stone? Plan a romantic dinner starting with – you’ve guessed it - oysters! You may have read somewhere that onions are also aphrodisiacs and whilst this is true the onion breath might be a bit off-putting! You’ve been warned!

B – Blow Job
Wake your man in the morning with a ‘no strings attached’ Blow Job. Tell him that it’s just an appetizer for what’s to come later and we guarantee he won’t work late that day!

C – Candlelight
Greet your man at the door wearing nothing but high-heeled shoes and a smile. Light lots of candles (scented are best) and put on some romantic music. He won’t be asking ‘what’s for dinner’, he’ll be moving straight on to desert!

D- Dominate
Tell him he's been a very naughty boy and must be punished. A light spanking will add to the fantasy!

E – Erogenous zone
Everyone knows the different erogenous zones on the body right? Wrong! The dictionary defines erogenous as sexually sensitive or arousing and for everyone this is different. Some men like their nipples played with, others think it just tickles. Some women like their earlobes nuzzled while others feel like they are being ‘kissed’ by a Labrador. The point is to take the time to learn the E-Zone of your particular partner and turn each other on.

F – Fantasies
You probably don’t need us to tell you that fantasizing during sex can tip the balance between good sex and great sex, whether or not to share your fantasy with your mate is an entirely different subject. Whispering your fantasy in his ear as you make love could drive him wild (especially if it involves you and another woman) however it can be a risky business, especially if your fantasy involves you and his brother!

G – Guidance
Don’t expect your mate to be a mind reader. If he spends ages playing with your nipples thinking that you’re loving it, while all the time you’re laying there feeling like he’s trying to tune a radio with your breasts then tell him! Assuming that this guy isn’t a naughty one-nighter, then you should feel comfortable enough with each other to be honest about your likes and dislikes.

H – Humor
Lets face it – sex is not only fun, it can also be funny! You contort your bodies trying out the latest sexual position that all your friends are talking about and your toe ends up his nose, as his chin is ‘smooshed’ under your armpit. Sex is not serious business so laugh and have fun – that’s why you’re doing it after all, right?

I – Initiative
You’ve heard it before. Men like to be propositioned. They like the woman to be a bit domineering once in a while – especially in the bedroom. Take the upper hand and initiate sex. Maybe he’s expecting you to drop the ‘headache’ excuse but he’ll be surprised in the nicest possible way.

J - Jiggle- it
You’ve all done it – admit it! You’ve worn that low cut top and shamelessly flaunted your cleavage, knowing that it was driving your man wild. You have that oh-so-innocent ‘who me’ expression when he mentions it, but inside you’re celebrating your feminine wiles. Drive him crazy with the titillation (no pun intended) and it will certainly lead to fireworks.

K – Kinky
Kinky is in the eye of the beholder. Some define kinky as sex anywhere other than the bedroom, while others classify it as talking dirty, strip tease, threesomes or whips, chains and leather. It really doesn’t matter how you characterize it – just try something new and use your imagination. Just remember that whatever new or kinky thing you try, you should always feel comfortable about what you are doing.

L – Lingerie
Its common knowledge that men are visually stimulated – you only have to look at the sex industry to see that. Make the most of this ‘weakness’ and dress up in stockings, suspenders and heels. You’ll have him weak at the knees.

M – Mystery
There are some things you should keep to yourself. – Don’t let your man see you in the bathroom doing the things that should be for your eyes only like shaving your legs or (dare we say it) using the toilet. Keep an air of mystery about yourself to keep the home fires burning.

N – Neglect
If we’re honest we have to admit that at times we are all guilty of neglecting our sex lives. Trying to juggle work and home can be a tiring business and it is very easy to fall into the trap of regarding sex as one more thing on our to-do list. Make the effort (even if you’re tired) to stay intimate with your mate and the outcome will be a long, lasting and happy relationship.

O – Orgasm
The big ‘O’. The ultimate destination. Sadly not all women arrive at their goal! Oftentimes ladies ‘fake it’ rather than risk damaging their man’s ego. Think about it for a second - Wouldn’t he want to know if your not satisfied? If you answer ‘No’ to this question then ditch him! Any man that isn’t interested in satisfying you isn’t worth making love to in the first place. Telling your partner what you like and don’t like is essential to healthy sex life. Good communication is important both in and out of the bedroom.

P – Passion
Keep the passion alive in your relationship by showering each other with small surprises. Leave love notes on the pillow or sneak one into his briefcase. Bring him breakfast in bed on a workday morning (hopefully he’ll return the favor). Play footsie under the table when you go out to dinner, and whisper in his ear that you’re not wearing any underwear. This will let him know exactly what’s on your mind and have him chomping on the bit to get home!

Q – Quickie
A night of long-lasting sex is usually fantastic but a quickie before you go to the movies (with you both fully dressed) can feel exciting and naughty. There’s nothing more tedious than the guy who thinks he’s entering the Guinness book of Records for stamina, pumping away for hours. If your man leaves you staring at the ceiling and planning tomorrow’s casserole, it’s time for a serious talk.

R – Relationship
As stimulating as it can be to have a quick holiday fling or a naughty grope in the backseat of the car with a guy you just met (practicing safe-sex at all times we hope), there is no substitute for a tender and loving relationship. If you are an emotionally connected couple then your lovemaking will be born out of love, not just lust. You should feel comfortable enough with each other to talk about what you enjoy (or don’t like) and this openness will fuel a long lasting and mutually satisfying love life.

S – Spontaneity
Be impulsive. Plan a last minute dirty weekend away, just the two of you. Drop the kids at your mums and check yourself into a hotel for a weekend of non-stop bonking. Don’t fall into the ‘once a week, same position’ trap that a lot of couples do – variety is the spice of life!

T – Tease
Tease him a little. Phone him at work and tell him all the things that you are going to do to him later when he gets home. Send him a card with a sexy Polaroid picture of yourself – give him something to look forward to the next time you’re together!

U – Unzipped
Undress each other and take your time. Put on some soft music and dance as you slowly peel each other’s clothes away. Naked bodies are wonderful but the anticipation of what’s to come as you get naked slowly will drive you both into a frenzy.

V – Vibrator
How do you introduce ‘Victor, your vibrating friend’ into your relationship? Well you can test the waters by telling him that your best friend just bought one at a sex party. If he blushes or grosses out then it’s probably left well alone. If however his ears perk up (or anything else for that matter) then go for it. Remember that the male ego is a sensitive thing and be careful to assure him that he does satisfy you but you would just like to add another dimension to your sex life.

W – Whipped Cream
Experiment with food. Slather your mans body in whipped cream or melted chocolate and take your time removing it with your tongue. Alternatively, grab a bunch of grapes and let him play ‘find the fruit’. Suck on a mint and the tingle you bring to his bits-n-pieces will have him begging for the next course!

X – X-Rated
If your man likes to watch pornography it doesn’t mean that he finds those women more attractive than you or that you don’t satisfy him. Try watching an erotic movie together and you’ll both find yourself so aroused that you’ll be at it for hours. Alternatively, try making your own rude video or snap away with your camera – but beware that this takes heaps of trust as you want to make sure that the results of this night of fun are for your eyes only.

Y – Yes, Yes, Yes
Don’t be afraid to let it all out. If you feel like shouting out in ecstasy then do – don’t bite your lip in an embarrassed silence. Unless you’re the type to shout so loud that your man needs to plug his ears with cotton, then being vocal will turn him on all the more.

Z – Zzzzz
Make sure you get enough sleep. If you’re tired from late nights of watching TV or anything else (other than sex) then you won’t have the energy to have sex. Lets face it – good sex takes energy and unless you’re well rested, you won’t feel motivated.